Start before you feel ready

We often restrain ourselves from doing something we want and instead wait for whatever it is in life to line up perfectly before we commit and do something. But being in this space of uncertainty and imperfection essentially brings about possibilities and opportunities to weave more dreams.

My life is busy.  I have a day job.  I attend to small businesses.  I collaborate with like-valued people.  I am completing a professional certification course.  And though my mind is constantly searching for new ventures, I value the time when all I want to do is to sit down and write something.  Here is a reality check – I am trying to organize my thoughts amid a pile of books and papers.  I felt the need to slow down and pay attention to my breathing (which I often do since the onset of my asthma last year).  I let go of my tension through proper breathing.  I want to get into my creative space and allow the shifting of perspectives on personal courage and what it truly means to be well.

Yes, all things need space to grow and evolve, and to become what they are meant to be.  But prior to growth, the seeds need to be planted and nourished...constantly.  We need to start somewhere before we see the “unfolding and becoming.”  Along the process, it’s easy to fall out of appreciation for our faults and imperfections. It’s hard to convince ourselves that no time is wasted. It’s just so natural to blame ourselves for lessons we should have realized, for all the missed opportunities, and the cluttered parts of our lives.

The countless times I changed my mind.

The overconfidence of being a go-getter.

The neglected messages and phone calls from friends.

The shortcomings in the commitments I make.

The resentments I hold toward those who wronged me.

The lingering frustration that spills out when I talk.

The messy desk and room.

The nagging negativity that lurks in my mind.

The judgments I made. 

With careful and calculated reflection, we gradually see how our decisions lead us to a myriad of experiences and emotions. We have our imperfections but these matter less than the lessons we now hold despite our rough edges and unpleasant spots.  I am continuously unfolding and becoming; always growing even as I age.  Maybe my life dreams are different now compared to those I had many years ago.  But I still dream amid the piles and chaos. I still create and inspire, once in a while.  I continuously discover the essence of personal courage.  I value, and show reverence to, the changes and challenges.  And I smile as I realize I am back to writing even before I am ready.

- Toni Escario 04.11.19 

#startbeforeyoufeelready
#personalcourage
#growthmindset
#ARTherapyLab

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